The Avengement of Bob
by Jade Xianghua
Summary: McKay said he'd had trouble finding a challenging opponent for chess. What about checkers? One shot. Bound to have people laughing. R&R Rated T to be safe language wise.


**_The Avengement of Bob_**

The hum of equipment resounded through the abnormally quiet infirmary that was in Dr Beckett's charge. Overall the day had been rather uneventful, no one being rushed in on gurneys while sporting numerous different wounds. None. The medical team had got more research done today that they would have on a usual week, the regular patients Colonel Sheppard and Doctor McKay, were a handful to say the least. Sheppard had always devised some insane plan of escape, which never worked, and ended up with search parties always catching him. Dr Beckett couldn't understand why people saw the infirmary as a prison, but it bloody well annoyed him.

McKay, well usually came in a lot with wounds ranging from extremely minor (splinters for example) to moderate. The man was a basically a hypochondriac! What's worse is he had the same desire as Sheppard for freedom but was too occupied with his complaining. The man is legendary and making a big deal out of nothing.

Dr Beckett was leaning back casually in one of the only comfy chairs in the infirmary, drinking a cup of tea while reminiscing. Today had been a great day by far, and he doubted it could get any worse. Little did he know however, that his luck had just run out around the time the alarm went off and a medical team was called to the gate room.

"It was the Colonel's fault!" Rodney snapped.

"Aye, it always is with you two. Now would you please hold still? You're making it hard to examine your ankle." Carson said wearily. The ankle was obviously inflamed but he needed to check for broken bones. Sheppard crossed his arms indignantly from his newly acquired bed in the infirmary.

"How is it MY fault McKay? Your legs were the ones that tripped over themselves." He said. Carson winced; this was the beginning of a long night.

"Well it was your fault they had to take a detour and hike through some nasty dark woods and it's not like you didn't trip up either. How did you anger the locals so much?" McKay complained. Sheppard shrugged, glaring at the bandaging, which was smothering one of his legs.

"In case you haven't noticed Rodney, people usually don't put up signs letting people know where their animal traps are and so I didn't partake in one of the rituals, like hell I was going to eat that mutated octopus. It was still alive!" The Colonel retorted sarcastically. Dr Beckett was beginning to get a headache from the two already.

"You two are making it hard for me to do my job, so could you stop your whingeing for five minutes? You two are giving me a right headache." Carson grumbled. Sheppard rightly shut up, but not before sending a death glare in the way of the good Scottish Doctor. McKay, as usual not knowing when to leave a subject alone, continued...

"Oh how hard could it possibly be to do your Voodoo magic, I'm sure-OW!" At this point the doctor had pressed a little too hard on the ankle as a warning sign before concluding that Dr McKay had a broke ankle.

"Unfortunately for me, you're correct that you do have a broken ankle. It however means you'll be under my watch tonight. You two got yourselves in a right mess." Carson sighed.

"Unfortunately for you? I'm the one going to be seriously inconvenienced; at the very least I want to go and check things are still going smoothly. " McKay said agitatedly.

The Colonel just rolled his eyes while Dr Beckett located a nurse to bandage up McKay's ankle.

"Doc, the five minutes are up. Could I get relocated to my quarters? There's nothing to do around here…" He stated diplomatically.

"No son, you can't. Not until we've done a few tests. Besides, I can keep a better eye on you here so I know you aren't doing things that you shouldn't be doing. And Colonel, this is an infirmary, there's not supposed to be anything to do. Patients usually need peace and quiet to recover. You two are the exceptions to that I've noticed. But that doesn't change anything." Beckett recited calmly while McKay grumbled under his breath while Sheppard looked mildly offended…very mildly but it was there. On that note, Carson left their company giving direction to the nearby nurses. It looked like the procedures would take a while.

* * *

"Hey, Sheppard?" McKay inquired a few hours later when Beckett wasn't in the room. Sheppard rolled to face McKay slowly.

"…What?"

"You still bored?"

"Yeah …why?"

"I figured I'd let you in on a secret."

"Oh…" By this point Sheppard was slightly curious as to what this secret could be. McKay sat up and pulled out a box from under his mattress with a smug grin on his face. The kind he got when he came up with a life saving idea.

"It's not chess but…" McKay said while pulling off the lid to reveal…

"…You smuggled a checkers set into the infirmary?" Sheppard said unbelievingly.

"Yeah… well the Scot found the chess set. Besides he always places me at the same bed, farthest away from his work station. I still don't know why he does that…" McKay reasoned. Sheppard grinned.

"…I can think of a reason." He said cryptically. McKay just glared at him.

"So do you want to be bored, or you do you want to get beaten by me at checkers?" He goaded.

"You're awfully sure of yourself; I suppose that's why I'll have to prove you wrong. You're on." Sheppard said.

* * *

A while later…

* * *

"I can't honestly believe you're trying to use that formation Sheppard, it never works!"

"…Well…" Sheppard dragged out. "…That would be the Sheppard formation. Only works for a Sheppard who knows how to use it."

"…You have no idea how lame that sounded…"

"Probably not, but are you gonna move or what?"

"Fine fine, keep your bandages on…"

* * *

"Unbelievable!" McKay practically yelled.

"…What's wrong with naming the lead checker Bob?" Sheppard asked.

"…Did the shot Beckett give you go to your head?"

"Don't think so. Besides it inspires morale!" At this point Doctor McKay just slapped his head and dragged his hand down his face. After composing himself he muttered.

"Once military, always military…"

* * *

After a certain amount of time elapsed a certain Scottish doctor returned to the scene…

* * *

"What in the blazes do you think you're both doing up at this hour, you should be getting rest!" He said as his voice rose in volume.

"Hey Doc!" Sheppard said casually. "Me and McKay are just playing checkers that's all; we're not making much noise…" McKay just muttered under his breath.

"…What kind of name is Bob anyways?"

"What kind of name is Rodney?" The Colonel shot back.

"The name for a human being, not a checker!" McKay growled. Dr Beckett just stared at the two like they had sprouted another head, after a while he just shook his head and went up to his laptop to get some work done.

* * *

"You are evil McKay, right up there with the Wraith!" Sheppard hollered. McKay leant back against his pillow and just grinned. "I can't believe you killed Bob!"

"He had it coming." Rodney said smugly.

"Bob will be avenged just you wait Rodney McKay!"

"Empty threats just like the way your side will be after I'm through with you." During this time Dr Beckett bashed his head against his desk, wondering what he had done to be cursed like this.

* * *

After another amount of time passed by…

* * *

McKay just stared at the board incredulously. Both Sheppard and Dr Beckett had huge grins on their faces. Carson had given up on working a while ago when he found the match between the two growing more and more amusing. Rodney just couldn't get it, how the hell could that have happened.

"I-I…lost? How is that possible?" McKay said as he voiced his thoughts.

"Hey, I just got lucky. The pieces hearts wouldn't have been in it if you hadn't taken Bob so early on. I told you I'd avenge Bob." Sheppard said with the same smug grin that McKay had previously worn.

"…Just shut up." McKay said dully.

Just around that same time both Dr Beckett and Sheppard burst into laughter.


End file.
